As a parent, you always worry about your kids. When they walk those clumsy first steps, weaving around all the furniture while you keep your hands reached out towards them so that when they do fall, they won't fall too hard. Next they are running all over the place, up the slide the wrong way, jumping off the swing. Then riding bikes, then skateboarding. All of the sudden, they're driving a car! Each new progression has a little more speed, a little more danger, a little more independence. All of these new experiences put them on their way to the place that we as parents are striving to take them....the place where they become "productive members of society".
As the mom of 2 United States Marines, I think we've got the "productive" part accomplished. Since they placed their feet on those yellow footprints on the island, they haven't had much of a chance not to be productive. No time to be lazy. Not many days to sleep in. And all too soon, the phone call came. "Mom, we leave the 15th." He didn't have to say where...I already knew. A whole new set of worries. The news that I've watched religiously since they enlisted has become a little harder watch. I try hard not to read too much into the stories. Avoid looking at the pictures...well, I try. It seems like every mother's nightmare that something will happen to one of their children & they won't be able to get there. That one of my children would be crying out for me & I couldn't get to them. When you have a child in the Military, you do think those thoughts. It's the most counterintuitive thing a mother can be asked to do. I've spent their entire lives making sure they were safe. Not too hot. Not too cold. Looking both ways. Now I've sent him off to a place where it's always too hot. Always too cold. Looking both ways isn't nearly enough because people could be shooting at him! I try desperately to avoid thinking about those posibilities. But when they creep in I can feel the emotion swell right up to my eyes. Then I remind myself that God is in control.
I send packages, cards, & emails trying to always be upbeat, positive & encouraging. I wouldn't want to do anything that might distract from his mission...stay alive & come home. But the worry takes up a little more of my time every day that he's gone. I miss my son. Can't wait to hug him.
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Mom X2
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Pity Party Table For One!
It's taken me a while to be able to write this one. I started thinking about it a few weeks ago when we said goodbye to Luke at the airport on January 5th. I was so proud of myself the last couple times we took him to the airport. Knowing he was only going back to Camp Lejeune was making it a little easier to watch him go through that security gate. I know he would be texting me every couple days & calling about once a week to tell me stories of how his life on base was going. But this time was different. This leave was different. This was his "pre-deployment" leave. This leave was nearly 3 weeks long because good ol' Uncle Sam was nice enough to give us extra time with our little boy before he would send him to the other side of the world for an entire year.
I found myself staring at him as he napped on the couch. Turning down the tv anytime he was in the room so that I wouldn't miss a single word that he decided to say. Watching him as he & his brother acted out funny stories of their lives as devil dogs. Revisiting all the subtle facial expressions of this young man that I've grown to recognize & seen grow with him every since he really was my little boy. I really didn't want to miss a thing. And we were so blessed that Matthew got to come home for Christmas too. Our whole family together for the first time in 10 months was such a blessing. To see my 3 children teasing & wrestling with each other was without a doubt all the Christmas present that my husband & I needed. Our hearts were full, our cups overflowing.
Then the time came. We had taken Matt to the airport a few days earlier. Not completely earth shattering for me because I knew he was headed back to sunny California...a place he has grown to love. I know the hardest part of his departure for him was the realization that his little brother would be taking off for "country" soon, & they may not see each other for quite some time. The boys are always "tough", but Momma can tell that this is a bit of weight for both of them. Now, we were at the airport for the third time this week (inside story)and about to walk away from our middle child (by 2 minutes) knowing where his Marine destiny was about to take him. I tried to keep the emotions that were welling up inside me under control. The last thing I wanted for him was to walk away from us knowing that I was so upset, thus upsetting him more, thus upsetting me more...a vicious circle! I saw him stiffen up a bit to shield himself from the hurt that I couldn't disguise. He & his brother are tough guys. And their toughness has served them well, & will continue to do so through the difficult times ahead of them. I used what little energy I had to suck it up as much as I could...for his sake. Then we didn't take our eyes off him as he walked to get in line at the security gate. We watched him empty his pockets, take his shoes off & his belt. Go through the scanner without a hitch. Put everything back in his pockets. Put his shoes & belt back on, & turn the corner toward the next chapter of his destiny as a United States Marine.
I'm not ashamed to say that the remainder of my day consisted entirely of pulling the cover that he had used while he was home up over my head, on the couch he had napped on. I was exhausted. Pinned up emotions will do that to you. They demand a greater supply of energy that I just didn't have to give. All I knew was that my son would soon be across the globe from his home. It was so much scarier watching him walk away this time. There is just so much unrest where he's headed. A entirely different world than the one that we are blessed to live in. I decided to give myself one day for a pity party...I thought I'd earned it.
Now it's time to dig deep in the faith that my life is rooted in. Where the promise of my God tells me that all things are possible through Christ who gives me my strength...and my children their strength as well. The God that may take us through the fire, but not without refining us into the diamonds He knows we can be. I pray every single day for each of my children. And I choose to believe that God has his arms around them, keeping them safe like only He can.
Today, I received a post on my Facebook from one of Luke's Marine brothers (now my adopted son). It read: dear mama stauber lol i just want you to no ol luke boy is ok!!they teach us how to be safe and to keep everybody else safe also.....he has a good head on his shoulders and will come home to you safe...........getting more tats hahaha lots of love.....puckett It made me smile. Thanks Puckett...Momma Stauber loves you too.
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Momma x2
I found myself staring at him as he napped on the couch. Turning down the tv anytime he was in the room so that I wouldn't miss a single word that he decided to say. Watching him as he & his brother acted out funny stories of their lives as devil dogs. Revisiting all the subtle facial expressions of this young man that I've grown to recognize & seen grow with him every since he really was my little boy. I really didn't want to miss a thing. And we were so blessed that Matthew got to come home for Christmas too. Our whole family together for the first time in 10 months was such a blessing. To see my 3 children teasing & wrestling with each other was without a doubt all the Christmas present that my husband & I needed. Our hearts were full, our cups overflowing.
Then the time came. We had taken Matt to the airport a few days earlier. Not completely earth shattering for me because I knew he was headed back to sunny California...a place he has grown to love. I know the hardest part of his departure for him was the realization that his little brother would be taking off for "country" soon, & they may not see each other for quite some time. The boys are always "tough", but Momma can tell that this is a bit of weight for both of them. Now, we were at the airport for the third time this week (inside story)and about to walk away from our middle child (by 2 minutes) knowing where his Marine destiny was about to take him. I tried to keep the emotions that were welling up inside me under control. The last thing I wanted for him was to walk away from us knowing that I was so upset, thus upsetting him more, thus upsetting me more...a vicious circle! I saw him stiffen up a bit to shield himself from the hurt that I couldn't disguise. He & his brother are tough guys. And their toughness has served them well, & will continue to do so through the difficult times ahead of them. I used what little energy I had to suck it up as much as I could...for his sake. Then we didn't take our eyes off him as he walked to get in line at the security gate. We watched him empty his pockets, take his shoes off & his belt. Go through the scanner without a hitch. Put everything back in his pockets. Put his shoes & belt back on, & turn the corner toward the next chapter of his destiny as a United States Marine.
I'm not ashamed to say that the remainder of my day consisted entirely of pulling the cover that he had used while he was home up over my head, on the couch he had napped on. I was exhausted. Pinned up emotions will do that to you. They demand a greater supply of energy that I just didn't have to give. All I knew was that my son would soon be across the globe from his home. It was so much scarier watching him walk away this time. There is just so much unrest where he's headed. A entirely different world than the one that we are blessed to live in. I decided to give myself one day for a pity party...I thought I'd earned it.
Now it's time to dig deep in the faith that my life is rooted in. Where the promise of my God tells me that all things are possible through Christ who gives me my strength...and my children their strength as well. The God that may take us through the fire, but not without refining us into the diamonds He knows we can be. I pray every single day for each of my children. And I choose to believe that God has his arms around them, keeping them safe like only He can.
Today, I received a post on my Facebook from one of Luke's Marine brothers (now my adopted son). It read: dear mama stauber lol i just want you to no ol luke boy is ok!!they teach us how to be safe and to keep everybody else safe also.....he has a good head on his shoulders and will come home to you safe...........getting more tats hahaha lots of love.....puckett It made me smile. Thanks Puckett...Momma Stauber loves you too.
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Momma x2
Thursday, October 28, 2010
HE was thanking ME!
I am very rarely left speechless. As the mom of 2 marines and a teenage girl. As someone who had a job answering 911 calls, and also worked in a hospital emergency room...not much shocks me anymore. But the other day when I went to my mailbox, I found a small cream colored envelope addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Stauber. The handwriting didn't look familiar. As I walked back into the house opening the little "gift", I had no idea how precious a gift it would turn out to be. It was a thank you note. The note read...
"Dear Mr. & Mrs. Stauber, Thank you for your thoughtfulness & generosity while I was in Afghanistan. Your packages helped me & my unit feel closer to home. Your kindness will always be appreciated."
The note was signed by a 20 year old young man who had just returned from a 7 month tour. A young Marine who's family prayed & worried while he was gone. A young man who not so long ago was enduring the heat, mean ol' DI's & sand fleas of "the island" with my own son, & too soon after that (in a mother's opinion) was enduring the heat, uncertainty & sand storms of the Middle East. HE was thanking ME! HE was thanking ME for the small little effort of putting some things I thought he might like in box & taking it to the post office.
Reading the note, of course, made me cry. This young man who had done so much was thanking me...who had done so little. He is a hero. I am just a mom who prays & sends boxes...yet HE was thanking ME.
So glad you're home safe "D".
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Mom x 2
"Dear Mr. & Mrs. Stauber, Thank you for your thoughtfulness & generosity while I was in Afghanistan. Your packages helped me & my unit feel closer to home. Your kindness will always be appreciated."
The note was signed by a 20 year old young man who had just returned from a 7 month tour. A young Marine who's family prayed & worried while he was gone. A young man who not so long ago was enduring the heat, mean ol' DI's & sand fleas of "the island" with my own son, & too soon after that (in a mother's opinion) was enduring the heat, uncertainty & sand storms of the Middle East. HE was thanking ME! HE was thanking ME for the small little effort of putting some things I thought he might like in box & taking it to the post office.
Reading the note, of course, made me cry. This young man who had done so much was thanking me...who had done so little. He is a hero. I am just a mom who prays & sends boxes...yet HE was thanking ME.
So glad you're home safe "D".
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Mom x 2
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Forgetting Is Not An Option
Nine years ago today, Matt & Luke were in a classroom in a little country elementary school in southern Indiana. The teacher's turned on a television to show the children what they thought was a terrible accident of a plane hitting a building in New York. Those teachers quickly realized when a second plane hit a second building that this was no accident. The televisions were turned off as the adults in the school scrambled to find out what was really going on.
Today, Matt & Luke are on opposite sides of the United States, each on a different Marine Military Base. To say that the events that they saw happen nine years earlier did not in some way effect their decision to become Marines would probably not be true. I believe that every single man or woman who has enlisted since 9/11/2001 probably at least had that day in the back of their mind to some extent.
On that day, like it or not, we began a war against an invisible & unconscionable enemy. An enemy that took away so many husbands, brothers, sons, dads, wives, sisters, daughters, & moms. On that day, ordinary people became heroes. Men & women who were "just doing their job" became heroes who were embarrassed by the attention. Heroes who would be haunted by what they saw for the rest of their lives.
September 11th. should be a reminder that everything we enjoy in America today is a result of someones sacrifice. It should remind us of the human cost that has been paid for our freedom. A price paid not just so you & I can pray & vote, but so that we can sit on our couch, watching tv, having 30 minute pizza delivered to our door.
Our military men & women are willing to do everything in their power to defend this great nation, including taking up arms when necessary. They made the choice to defend America so that you & your children will not be forced to do so. Please do not criticize the brave & valiant individuals who have that sense of duty, that measure of courage & determination of heart to protect & defend my nation, and I might add, you. After September 11, 2001, taking our freedom & security for granted was really no longer an option.
Matt & Luke...Momma loves you.
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Mom x2
Today, Matt & Luke are on opposite sides of the United States, each on a different Marine Military Base. To say that the events that they saw happen nine years earlier did not in some way effect their decision to become Marines would probably not be true. I believe that every single man or woman who has enlisted since 9/11/2001 probably at least had that day in the back of their mind to some extent.
On that day, like it or not, we began a war against an invisible & unconscionable enemy. An enemy that took away so many husbands, brothers, sons, dads, wives, sisters, daughters, & moms. On that day, ordinary people became heroes. Men & women who were "just doing their job" became heroes who were embarrassed by the attention. Heroes who would be haunted by what they saw for the rest of their lives.
September 11th. should be a reminder that everything we enjoy in America today is a result of someones sacrifice. It should remind us of the human cost that has been paid for our freedom. A price paid not just so you & I can pray & vote, but so that we can sit on our couch, watching tv, having 30 minute pizza delivered to our door.
Our military men & women are willing to do everything in their power to defend this great nation, including taking up arms when necessary. They made the choice to defend America so that you & your children will not be forced to do so. Please do not criticize the brave & valiant individuals who have that sense of duty, that measure of courage & determination of heart to protect & defend my nation, and I might add, you. After September 11, 2001, taking our freedom & security for granted was really no longer an option.
Matt & Luke...Momma loves you.
Good To Go,
Proud Marine Mom x2
Monday, August 16, 2010
Time Flies!
The last couple months have been full of things to do! Both the boys are now permanently stationed. Luke at Camp LeJeune & Matt at Camp Pendleton. Of course, they would have to be on complete opposite side of the United States...but no complaints here...at least they are still in the United States!
Luke had a pretty great opportunity to go to Fleet Week in New York! He was able to see alot of the city & do some pretty neat things. The one thing that I'm sure he will never forget was the honor to be promoted to Lance Corporal while he was there. What was so special about that? The ceremony took place at Ground Zero. What a humbling experience that must have been to stand in the very place where evil tried to consume us & know that he is a part of the warriors who are fighting to make sure that never happens again. He is a part of the courageous men & women who will stand up to ensure that the people who lost their lives on September 11, 2001 will not be forgotten.
Matt is in sunny California, & I was recently blessed with the opportunity to go see him there! He was able to show me around Camp Pendleton. I got to meet some of the guys in his unit. And he took me on a tour of Hollywood. He is preparing to go into some kind of training for a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit), and he seems to be looking forward to that. California weather suits Matt perfectly & I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up wanting to live there...although the thought of possibly having grandchildren (eventually) that far away does not sound good to me!
The mother in me just wants both of my sons to come home sooner than later. However, I do believe that our goal as parents is to raise our children to become independent, productive members of society who act with conviction and do what they believe is right. That part of the mother in me is filled with pride that these wonderful young men, who made the fact that when you look up "never a dull moment" in the dictionary our family picture is right there, made a decision to do something with their lives & took the steps necessary to achieve it. They are walking down a path that was not easy to choose, yet they accept their responsibility. They do not let fear, or the fears of those around them get in the way. Would I be a good mother if I discouraged them from moving forward every day to achieve their goals? The possibility of my fears keeping them from doing that doesn't seem fair.
So most of the time when I have tears in my eyes, they are tears of immense pride. Both of my sons are representing the United States of America. Not a school or a team, but our country.
Good To Go!
Proud Mom of 2 U.S Marines
Luke had a pretty great opportunity to go to Fleet Week in New York! He was able to see alot of the city & do some pretty neat things. The one thing that I'm sure he will never forget was the honor to be promoted to Lance Corporal while he was there. What was so special about that? The ceremony took place at Ground Zero. What a humbling experience that must have been to stand in the very place where evil tried to consume us & know that he is a part of the warriors who are fighting to make sure that never happens again. He is a part of the courageous men & women who will stand up to ensure that the people who lost their lives on September 11, 2001 will not be forgotten.
Matt is in sunny California, & I was recently blessed with the opportunity to go see him there! He was able to show me around Camp Pendleton. I got to meet some of the guys in his unit. And he took me on a tour of Hollywood. He is preparing to go into some kind of training for a MEU (Marine Expeditionary Unit), and he seems to be looking forward to that. California weather suits Matt perfectly & I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up wanting to live there...although the thought of possibly having grandchildren (eventually) that far away does not sound good to me!
The mother in me just wants both of my sons to come home sooner than later. However, I do believe that our goal as parents is to raise our children to become independent, productive members of society who act with conviction and do what they believe is right. That part of the mother in me is filled with pride that these wonderful young men, who made the fact that when you look up "never a dull moment" in the dictionary our family picture is right there, made a decision to do something with their lives & took the steps necessary to achieve it. They are walking down a path that was not easy to choose, yet they accept their responsibility. They do not let fear, or the fears of those around them get in the way. Would I be a good mother if I discouraged them from moving forward every day to achieve their goals? The possibility of my fears keeping them from doing that doesn't seem fair.
So most of the time when I have tears in my eyes, they are tears of immense pride. Both of my sons are representing the United States of America. Not a school or a team, but our country.
Good To Go!
Proud Mom of 2 U.S Marines
Monday, May 24, 2010
Freedom, Justice, & Opportunity For All
I always thought of myself as a patriotic person. Always immediately standing when the National Anthem was about to be played. I would usually put my hands behind my back, or if I was feeling especially "American" that day, I would place my right hand over my heart. I would scan the crowd to see who hadn't taken their hat off, or who was still carrying on a conversation during the tribute & feel a little disappointment in those people. Now that I am the mother of two United States Marines, I look back & feel disappointment in myself for the times when I was younger & might have shown too little respect for our country's anthem, & the flag that represents us. Now however, I'm sure the person next to me must be able to hear my heart pounding at the sound of the notes that lead into our nations most famous song, and the sight of an unfurled red, white & blue flag with its 13 stripes & 50 stars as it blows in the breeze. Now, when I stand for the National Anthem, or the flag of the United States passing by me, I sometimes bite my lip to hold back the tears of pride that come with knowing that both of my sons are members of a long line of hero's who's job it has been for over 200 years to protect our nation & others. It is a reminder of the heroism of our forefathers. A symbol of us all - all of America. It is not a political symbol. It represents the honor, courage & sacrifice of those who struggled to preserve the ideals upon which our country was founded: Freedom, Justice, & Opportunity for all.
A while ago, someone sent me an email titled "He Is Not A Boy", and part of what it said is very fitting to end this particular blog... "He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention. He tempers the burning desire to "square away" those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in & day out, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as those before him, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American fighting man who has kept this country free for over 200 years."
With Memorial Day approaching, I would ask that you stop & think about the level of respect you & your children will give to our National Anthem, or a United States Flag that may pass by you...Semper Fi!
Good To Go,
Proud Mom of TWO United States Marines
Monday, April 5, 2010
Only One Basket
Yesterday was Easter Sunday here in the U.S. My favorite holiday, since it recognizes the most important thing in my life...He Is Risen. I took the last couple days (since Good Friday) to reflect on the significance of Easter... a risen Savior, & how blessed our family has been over the years. It is overwhelming when you really think about the sacrifice He made.
As I searched the basement for the kids baskets, (ones they've each had since they were babies) it made me realize that this would be the first year that I (oops...i mean the Easter Bunny) would be be filling only one basket. I seem to get through days a little easier lately...not breaking out int o tears at the slightest reminder that my boys are so far away, but it's times like these that make my heart feel a little more empty than usual. I did send Luke a care package a couple weeks ago with a few of his favorite things and an Easter card, but Matt has been in MCT (Military Combat Training) for the past 29 days and there has been no contact with him at all. When the boys little sister woke up on Easter morning to only one basket waiting...I could tell that her heart felt a little more empty than usual too. Still, our family knows that we are blessed. We did get to speak to Luke on Easter for a little while, and finally, Matt got to send a few texts. It was a good day. My son's are in the United States....for now.
I have a friend named Elsa. We "met" online. Her son, who we call "D" went to boot camp with Luke...therefore...we are family now. D was deployed to Afghanistan several weeks ago. While I was sad over only one basket, Elsa slept with one of D's shirts under her pillow. A mom will find any way to hold her children as close as she can when they are further away than she ever imagined they would be. I ask that you keep Elsa & her family...especially D, in your prayers. I know I've said this before, but Easter seems like an especially good time to remind us that there truly are only 2 men who have offered to sacrifice their life for you...Jesus, & the American Soldier.
We've got your back here at home D!
Good To Go,
Proud & Humbled
USMC Mom
As I searched the basement for the kids baskets, (ones they've each had since they were babies) it made me realize that this would be the first year that I (oops...i mean the Easter Bunny) would be be filling only one basket. I seem to get through days a little easier lately...not breaking out int o tears at the slightest reminder that my boys are so far away, but it's times like these that make my heart feel a little more empty than usual. I did send Luke a care package a couple weeks ago with a few of his favorite things and an Easter card, but Matt has been in MCT (Military Combat Training) for the past 29 days and there has been no contact with him at all. When the boys little sister woke up on Easter morning to only one basket waiting...I could tell that her heart felt a little more empty than usual too. Still, our family knows that we are blessed. We did get to speak to Luke on Easter for a little while, and finally, Matt got to send a few texts. It was a good day. My son's are in the United States....for now.
I have a friend named Elsa. We "met" online. Her son, who we call "D" went to boot camp with Luke...therefore...we are family now. D was deployed to Afghanistan several weeks ago. While I was sad over only one basket, Elsa slept with one of D's shirts under her pillow. A mom will find any way to hold her children as close as she can when they are further away than she ever imagined they would be. I ask that you keep Elsa & her family...especially D, in your prayers. I know I've said this before, but Easter seems like an especially good time to remind us that there truly are only 2 men who have offered to sacrifice their life for you...Jesus, & the American Soldier.
We've got your back here at home D!
Good To Go,
Proud & Humbled
USMC Mom
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)